Never thought I’d be writing about this again, but frankly I do need to get to updating this blog on a semi-regular basis, and this topic seemed like a good one since I’ve arrived at an interesting fork and one that I’m having really mixed feelings about.
Anyone who has known me is painfully aware of my indecisive nature. I tend to overthink everything that requires any sort of choice and will spin it around and around in my brain for days on end without ever making any ground, and if I do, shortly afterwards I’ll revert to a “square one” state and the whole cycle just begins anew. Many of my buddies either love it (for some…really weird reason it’s become part of my charm.) and many simply hate it.
So with GREY trying to get a group together for weekly shenanigans, I naturally jumped on after my somewhat failed attempt to get it started myself. It was then that I was told that I was more or less shoe-horned into going with the DPS role, which wasn’t up for any sort of debate. Ironically, I had mixed feelings about this.
“Great!” I thought in one part of my mind, “this removes the choice for me and narrows down my debating to the DPS classes.” I am assured that our group leader has no ulterior motives however… *cough*
However, the other part of my mind was starting to wake up. “Hang on, but this means you won’t be tanking stuff, is this okay?” and I honestly couldn’t answer the question.
I had spent weeks upon weeks levelling the Dark Knight and Paladin up to sixty and I’ve just started to gear them up. (Stuff like this can take me a little while, I have to do it in short bursts unless I’m REALLY in the zone) I dedicated alot of time to learning what is expected and how to perform as a Tank. To be told that I wouldn’t be putting all that time and experience into practise sorta feels like a slap to the face.
I know said person has no ill intentions. Nor do I wish to impose on the Tanking Duo, since they will work better when we do eventually hit things like Savage and the extreme Heavensward Primals and maybe I’m just being really silly when it comes to this and it’s simply a by-product of overthinking as usual.
The more I think about these mixed feelings, the more I just confuse myself. The choice was REMOVED for me. The very thing I wanted to happen since 9/10, when a choice is presented to me, I do one of two things. Hope that someone makes it for me and removes the choice, or I defer to others to choose for me. The Latter people keep saying Ninja, which I am furiously fighting against currently. And the former is just making me confused as hell.
To those now thinking. “Why not just do both?” My answer, I totally plan to.
For the times when one of our two main tanks aren’t around, I’ve already been confirmed to be the back-up and that SHOULD be enough for me. Yet at the same time it’s not for some reason and again I think I’m just going to attribute it to my indecisiveness…and the fact that I really do love the Dark Knight and Paladin…stupid weapons being Tank stuff >_>
For now, I get to Debate the Dragoon, Ninja or Bard, Machinist for DPSing duties!
I also gotta consider the whole writing side of things…I really do want to write that XIV fiction at some point…sounds like a fun little project…