Epiphany’s, thoughts, and a whole lotta nothing.


The picture isn’t related to this, but I really fluffing like this xD

This has become a thing hasn’t it? Impromptu posts that I seem to just ramble on about with little to no point to them. But I feel that todays impromptu one is kinda a decent one…for once. And well, It’s discovering what MMO’s and RPG’s mean to me.

I was going to post a really lengthy diatribe on twitter regarding my Tank or DPS shenanigan. It spanned over 1000 characters and it wasn’t untill the end did I decide that it was more blog post worthy than spamming your timelines. But first, I should probably elaborate on what was going on:

To preface: TitanFall 2 had come out and at around 12pm I was able to install it and play it within half an hour (gotta love 200mbs download, even if I only used 15% of that to download it!) Before loading it up and while waiting for it to install, I made a simple prediction. I would grow to love how mobile you are within the game and go back to debating if I wanted to be a more mobile type of person. Here, speed combined with aggression would win the day…and I was partially correct. Partially.

What really happened was I went into the game, picked up the CAR, an SMG, took the Grapple hook Pilot and made sure to have Ronin, one of the most agile Titan’s in the game equipped. And I was barely average. Of course I wasn’t expecting to be the best there ever was instantly, and the real test was to see if I could simply adapt. So began a 6 hour play session (actually the longest I’ve gamed for awhile now, was kinda fun) of blood, sweat and salty tears. Upon the fifth hour I somewhat gave up, slapped a Shotgun on my loadout, changed to the pulse knife so I could have portable wall hacks every so often and started switching between Legion, the tankiest Titan with a big ass minigun, and Ion, a jack of all, master of none type Titan. and suddenly, something seemed to click. I was doing 10x better than I was before. Pilot’s were dropping to my Shotgun, those that didn’t got a boot to the face. my Legion Titan hailed lead upon my foes in a cacophony of sweet sounding mech combat ( totally realise I used cacophony wrong, but It sounds cool!) and if I wasn’t using Lead, I was using lasors with Ion.

But it didn’t feel satisfying.
It was a weird feeling coming away from the game. I loved every second of it, but the frustration of trying to be the smg run and gunner eventually forced me to take a Shotgun just to do well. It left a pit in my stomach while I pondered what the feeling was. Was it that I felt cheap? Not entirely. Shotgun’s are, afterall the masters of close range combat. For someone that is so melee centric in their play-style, it’s the perfect companion at times. (Long range is such a bitch ;_; )
It was then that I realised that I had a perceived skill-ceiling that I had imagined. I /FELT/ less skilful than I did sucking with the smg and Ronin. After all, what did I need to do skill wise than to point my shotgun or giant mini-gun and and click/hold the M1 button?

The feeling then hit me again when I thought about logging into XIV earlier. Was the root cause of the debate, less about what I wanted to do, and more about what I PERCEIVED?

My thought process had suddenly taken an interesting turn when it comes to Tanking or DPS. It’s less about this and that now. I can do either just fine, play either just fine, get into either role just fine. Tanks, sure I get a little anxious when it comes to performance, (although 50% is down to healers as well) but either role I can go in, load up and just do it. I realise that both good Tanks and good DPS’s are important. But on realising that I have this weird artificial view of tanking, on that the skill ceiling is rather high, due to inflation of the importance being a tank, I feel may have been what prompted my split choice on the matter.

Yes, DPS’ers probably do have the highest skill-ceiling in the MMO-verse. Learning optimal rotations, cooldown manage, resource management if the game has such a thing, and so on so forth. The goal to achieve maximum deeps is something every dps is striving for. But then the problem was that, it felt like 70% of the community was gunning for that same goal. It’s hard to feel important, or to stand out within such a large crowd.

Tanking, on the other hand, has the job of knowing the bosses intricately to sync their defensive cooldowns appropriately. Any bozo can spam 1-2-3 for aggro and spam that enough times and you can just do your DPS rotation and good tanks stand out, because they don’t lose the aggro, can use CD’s properly to help the healer’s life a sane one and so on so forth and if they can also achieve maximum deeps? Even better right?

I can totally admit to having more enjoyment as a DPS. It certainly seems that why and also really aware that I don’t stand out.

And I suppose it’s simply me indulging my inner-vain self in that I want to stand out occasionally and then epiphany no.2 seemed to perform a left hook.

For someone like myself, where social interaction in both virtual and reality is a HUGE hurdle when I’m initially introduced to people, and even then, I can only openly be social with a really select few people. General interaction with those that I don’t talk to as often, is difficult as hell, I wanted something to break up the monotony of…just being there. I no longer want every day to be just another day for me. and both MMO’s and RPG’s are a strange way for me to break that feeling.

When it comes to MMO’s, I can totally stand out. I can earn the praise of random individuals from across the globe. I can /FEEL/ like I’m doing more than the usual on the day to day. Tank’s helped me achieve that even more since I am not the only one that puts an over importance on the tanks. Not to say that tanks aren’t important, but I feel that they’re given too much credit or a reputation for what they do. Yet, here I am, wanting to be one of those special people that people need because Tanks are always in demand.
When it comes to general RPG’s, I can take a break from just being a Human being with broken social skills, a body that is somehow still holding itself together despite the numerous issues I seem to have and the crushing emotional baggage I feel I carry. I’m no longer, ‘that guy’ upon entering the world of Tamriel or Thedas. I can be Flynn Silvers – The Honourable and Noble knight, come to save the day once again.

At the end of the day, I feel that’s really what prompted me to really think hard on being a Tank-centric or a DPS-centric player. I wanted to feel more important than I usually do. Boom, instant role for me to do that with.


Going forward I’m not entirely sure what to do with this knowledge. I could either tough it out and continue to be a damage dealer, or give into my own silly vanity and just tank.
Autism really is a finicky thing…


Moving on up–The Flynn tank goes full throttle.


Cool guys don’t look at explosions…because dust REALLY hurts your eyes.

The last few weeks have been an interesting one in XIV. If only because I have more freedom in my class choice than I’ve had in awhile. My worries about raiding and leaving GREY were obviously unfounded as I did get to speak to others about my thoughts. So for the time being I am still on Cactuar, but with an eye to transfer to Balmung (because RP and there’s a large EU community apparently there too) Or just head to an EU server like Odin. But in the meantime I thought I’d do something I’ve been putting off for months…Alexander.

For me, Alexander is the Coil. I joined when the Coil was already fully out (and I have less than a week to get my clears for that now that I remember…) but I a;lways put it off. Normal mode just seemed daunting to do on the Duty Finder, especially with my renewed efforts of tanking. While I knew Gordias would be easier than usual since that’s been out for awhile now, doing Midas was something I thought would be somewhat difficult. And to be fair it has been fairly challenging.

I’ve suddenly had to grasp the art of Tank-swapping, the idea of swapping who the MT is due to mechanics or when something goes to hell. I knew how to do it on paper. Use Provoke and follow up with an enmity generator. I’ve usually defaulted to Shield Lob since I have no guarantee of keeping aggro with a simple fast blade or savage blade, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how to do that, or at least there are more effective methods.

So far I’m now on A7 Normal. And I’m hoping to clear that along with A8, if not tomorrow. Then maybe I’ll renew my efforts into finding an FC that is more appropriate for my time zone to raid the savage variants with. Along with finding a group that can car- I mean uh, help me clear the coil.

Soul Surrender, or Patch 3.4 in XIV is coming next week and apparently some of the dialogue changes if you had cleared the coil I want fancy new dialogue! But I don’t see it happening unless I find a coil party XD.

It’s also going to add in the final set of Alexander raids, hence my doubled efforts on clearing Alexander. So far it actually been going better than I thought it would honestly.

Oh yeah, double thanks to Ayla for crafting me my Tank Glamour. It’s something I’ve wanted for ages, at least for my tanks. The verdict is still in the air on if I’m going to continue dpsing or tanking, but so far I’m really enjoying tanking more than I thought I would at the end-game. I might, for giggles go back and do them all again as my Dragoon (well to be fair I really should keep doing them, you know…quick gearing and what-not) just to compare, but the feeling of victory I’ve gotten in Alexander tanking has kinda beaten everything I’ve felt beforehand…and that includes that clutch Nidhogg story trial at the end of the dragonsong war…and let me tell you…

It’s REALLY hard to beat that.


Continuing debates: Exploring the paths


It always seems that no matter how much I may settle on something for this and that reason, I’ll always find a way to take several steps backwards somehow. Maybe it’s the way I am, always overthinking things whenever I hit even a small bump in the road. I’m sure I’m not the only one whom has the same kinda deal going on in the brain. But I’m…80% sure that no-one is indecisive as I am especially regarding something that many would deem frivolous.

But I suppose to myself, it’s not frivolous but rather just a matter of findings ones lot in life…or digital life anyways.

It’s hard to explain to other people what it is that truly goes through my head half the time. I’ve always been told that I’ve just been different and ‘special’ when it came to my autism. So some people, when they understand this, are ridiculously patient with me as I try to spell stuff out. Others just think I’m being an indecisive asshat and they would be totally correct in that.



For the last…good long while, I’ve been on the fence mainly in regards to being a Tanking main, or Damage Dealing Main. Especially in XIV, where one of the many reasons for being a tanking main is something as superficial as “they look awesome AND SWORDS,” compared to the spear-wielding Dragoon or the dual-wielding Ninja…or the punchy punchy Monk…maybe not the last one but I can semi see the appeal for Monk.

The main reason I always went with the Tanks in XIV, minus the obvious awesome looks and sword appeal, it has that knight aspect to it and I’ve always loved the medieval times and the whole code of chivalry shenanigans. King Arthur is debatably one of my favourite fables/legends/myth and Fate/Stay Night has really nailed some of the older legends like Cu Chulainn, Gilgamesh and so on so forth. Okay sure they may take “liberties” here and there, but for the most part it was pretty interesting to see the legends behind what was included in the fate series.

It’s taken me awhile, but the Persona of Flynn Silvers, was slowly being hijacked. Not from some evil person, or malicious type, but from my own brain. Flynn Silvers wasn’t being billed as Flynn Silvers, but as a male Artoria Pendragon, King of Britain and wielder of Excalibur. I think Excalibur is the only sword I’d ever want to wield after I unlocked it for my Paladin.  I kinda semi-hope that if Samurai does turn in a DPS class, I’d be allowed to glamour Excalibur…I doubt it…but that’s my hopes for another discussion on 4.0.

The whole class debate was always to solve one question: What main should I go for? Flynn Silvers, evolved from a shit-ton of iterations since I was a kid and started writing. I spent most of my time on RolePlaying Forums, writing lengthy stories with a bunch of other people. I even had some of them saved and archived…and good god I was a terrible Gary Stu and…let’s not talk about how bad that was shall we?

In the future, I think i still want to Tank, I want to be that frontliner…I know I want to be a Knight rather than a dickish backstabbing rogue. The idea of being a spellcaster is still up there however, a little bit of experimentation goes a long way same with being an Archer, when I say Archer i mention it more out of the fact that I’ve actually picked up a bow and really enjoyed the time I had at the beginners course…and the fact Green Arrow and Hawkeye are my favourite DC and Marvel heroes respectively. But that’s why Arc Mavens was created. He was made specifically to fill in the Archery spot in my growing team of characters. It’s why Karin Silvers, straddles the line between red and black mage and I’ve never seriously considered magical options. (Not to mention I really hate MP with a passion. Yes I know XIV has mechanics so in theory, you’d never run out, but I’ve had bad experiences previously man…I’ve seen some shit ;_;

But being a Knight can mean anything. It could mean the tank type with a sword and shield, it could be the greatsword wielder like Cloud or Guts, it could mean a Dragoon, it could mean ANY of those things. and that is currently what I’m trying to figure out. the GREY group still refuses to let me tank and I think I might try one last time later tonight. I’m not really holding out much hope on being accepted.

Well I could always move to Balmung…I hear that’s RP central for XIV. But that means leaving Grey and….euuugh…debates galore for me. haha.

How does one figure out how something feels “right”


I had a small discussion with a friend on twitter about my class debates. Where I usually focused on aethetics and other such things, Kat, the ever so helpful, wanted to talk about how a class feels to me. To which I was just unable to reply and it’s been bugging me ever since I had the conversation.

I also read a small blog post written by EndGame Viable (Which you can view here) in which he talked about his experience…or rather lack of experience with melee classes in general. The reasons stems from ‘feeling weird not pressing button on every Global Cooldown.’ to ‘it’s simply too complicated’ and they simply preferred range classes for the fact that there was something to tap on every GCD.


Impromptu dance party go!

When I spoke to Cat in our discussion, he talked about how he hated, especially on Machinist (and I’d wager Bard) that he was looking everywhere BUT where the action was. His focus was glued to the UI, looking at the buffs, the cooldowns and so on so forth. While I theorised that muscle memory and making the UI bigger would help, the problem would the become that the UI would be too large. And there’s only so much you can do in order to alleviate issues. (Such as making attack buttons smaller and to the side and the buff’s and what not bigger to the other side.)

It got me thinking that I never really found a style of play to’’ ‘settle’ as it were. I haven’t found that type of gameplay that “feels” right. Back when Heavensward was announced, I simply wanted to Tank because of the Dark Knight and how it looked. Never mind that it was a tank with a focus on aggro generation and what-not. It had a GIANT SWORD.

Yeah kinda like that…not that particular one, but they’re all the same sorta size!

I remember I had the same sort of thing, and kinda do still, about dual-wielding. I’ve been playing Ni-oh lately and I recently found two high-tier weapons of a katana and a dual-wield tachi. I have no idea which I prefer to use, so I’ve kept switching between the two and the spear I had equipped in my second slot. Lately I’ve been trying out the Summoner and Thaumaturge (working on getting THM up to 30 minimum just for not having any battle classes under 30) and, as much as I love the destructive power of magic, it just feels…weird. I couldn’t pin it when I suddenly remember how the Bard at 60 felt to play. It currently, had less buffs to manage (although I have heard that Enochain is a bitch for 60 Black mages) but the cast bar…that god damn cast bar hates me.

Or I hate it…one of the two. But anyway having a cast bar feels detrimental to how I play. It could just be because I’m so used to having abilities going off INSTANTLY, or close to instantly. I’d like to quote Tales of Zestiria real quick here.

Waifu #2 Lailah, feels primarily like a fire mage. Her normal attacks are…decent, but I always felt that she was more made for long range casting in mind.
Now, there’s these sections called Crucibles that are essentially themed battles and are usually a solo affair, aside from one or two. I’ll link in a video below to sort of accentuate my point.

Actually the above is semi how I played this section. Like I said, her normal attacks are decent, but her power lied in her Artes. (spells for those not one with the Tales series) and you’ll notice at various points they’ll attempt to get off a cast, only for it to fail because of a small poke. You can speed up the cast times, but it’s only faster if used during a combo, 3 or 4 abilities down the line for me to feel like using them.

There are a few times, where I did turn into a caster. Some of the later boss fights for example, demanded I armatize and use spells because I just couldn’t get their patterns down and find the gap in order to attack and press the offense. But those instances were usually a 4 v 1 situation. Group battles were much harder to use this tactic if I had to use it. I’d much rather use Sorey or Rose and just get in there. (another classic example of sword or dual wield)


Random example aside,  I’ll probably get the Thaumaturge up to 30 and then leave it, while not touching the Bard or Machinist and only for getting them to 60. The Cast bar bugs me and never really meshes well with the way I like to play…

and that’s not having any, or very little, delay in my key presses to actual action.


and suddenly not being able to figure out my preferred style became that much easier. But what if the Bard and Machinist didn’t have their annoying cast bars, and being the type of guy that loves Archery, what then?

Well…I dislike it  since I’m a terrible shot, in a game where the aim is auto, it kinda takes the fun out of things. Which is why I’ve been known to hog the Archer in Chivalry. Although that habit hasn’t happened for awhile. And when the aim is done automatically, it’s just no fun.

So really in a game like XIV or WoW, suddenly the ranged classes hold little meaning to me.

And I’m back to the square in which I started gaming with…glorious melee combat.

So the point of this Blog post? It was semi-impromptu after seeing the above blog post. The second reason…well, it helps to type stuff out and see it on screen. And I do need to get more posts in for Blaugust. Muhahaha.

So while I’m sitting here, trying desperately to either A) allow my group to let me be one of the main tanks or B) find a way to just deal with it. I’m going to continue debating tanks or damage dealing. Because that’s what I do, and know what feels, best!

Passion Projects: Enderal, Pokemons and Nintendo


I will swear down to earth that I love RPG’s. That’ll never change no matter what I look into playing. While I have a preference for fantasy type/medieval deals, I’m open to the shooter type of RPG (like Mass Effect for example) but I will always love the sword and sorcery deal. So I’m ridiculously excited for titles like Final Fantasy XV (goes without saying), Nier Autonama – which is now coming to Steam (PRAISE THE SUN! \O/) But today is not for talking about games that are going to come out in the near future. Today, I want to talk about passion projects.

Passion Projects: as the title implies, is the undertaking of a project with the pure motivation being passion for something. Not making any money, or getting any money for what they do. They aren’t motivated by greed (which is more than could be said for some of the current developers.) and such projects I feel, are important to the industry.

Pokemon Uranium is one such project and it was in development for a whopping nine years. I personally haven’t had a chance to play it. The download was pulled by a DMCA issued by Nintendo and I haven’t properly looked around for a reliable source. This wasn’t the first time that Nintendo had issued such a thing. Over the years Nintendo has aggressively issued DMCA’s for passion projects. Only a few days/weeks ago they shut down a Metroid 2 remake project.

Now, I’m not going to discuss if this is right or not. Because the simple fact is – Nintendo has every right to stop and issue these DMCA’s because they do have to protect their IP’s. While everyone knows it won’t damage it, I suppose Nintendo are afraid that it will, but with Sun and Moon around the corner, I guess they’re afraid that Uranium’s popularity will overshadow Sun and Moon. (Which it won’t)

Every company has a right to enforce their properties. Because there ARE some people out their with malicious intent. But to shut down fan projects are something that people will agree that they have a right to, but will not agree that they should…especially with such projects like Enderal.



Enderal is a total conversion mod project for Skyrim. Which took 3-5 years to develop. Total Conversion meaning the only thing from Skyrim that was transferred is the engine and assists. The world is not connected to Tamriel or Skyrim and set’s place in…well…Enderal. It has it’s own lore, story, locations and so on so forth and it’s absolutely amazing.

Enderal’s story so far is 10x more dark and interesting than Skyrim. To paraphrase the beginning, you find yourself washed ashore and from there you get to explore Enderal, but stumble upon something and one thing leads to another. If you think I’m being too vague, it’s because I kinda want to move people to trying it out themselves. All you need is a PC copy of Skyrim, no DLC is needed and then you can follow their instructions to install it with their handy installer programme. It even backs-up Skyrim for you so that if you ever wanted (for whatever reason…maybe after completing Enderal) you can simply run the launcher again and it’ll then backup/delete Enderal and restore Skyrim. It’s amazing what technology can do.

If you own Skyrim and are itching for a really beautifully crafted world to explore, I highly recommend setting some time aside to check this out. You won’t be disappointed. (If you do, PSA: Don’t install any mods or ENB’s. The image above is completely vanilla Enderal. And some mods can mess with the game. You can if you want, but I’d install them at your own risk.)


And Enderal is just one such project that has been ALLOWED to exist. Bethesda hasn’t issued any take down and from the looks of it, embraced it. After all, it’s a non-profit thing. And there’s a few other projects floating around that others are embracing. Installation 01 is a PC Halo-inspired game that is follow Microsoft’s Game Content agreements, in that none of their models are being ripped from the game. they are being hand-crafted. I’d like to say again that it’s the fact that Nintendo are just not a fan of the fan games that have been created that people are annoyed at. Not that they are, which they have a legal right to.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to finally play a heavy armour warrior sword+board type character in an Elder Scrolls game…or a converted one anyway…Even if my giant flaming sword is better than my not flaming sword. Eh I’ll just use both as and when.

The Obligatory I have no idea what to post, post


Man I’m terrible at doing this scheduling post thing  I think most of it is coming down to I don’t have many topics I’d like to talk about, and the feeling of depression and the whole “I don’t feel like doing anything” mentality that comes with it.

Most people will know what Depression is like, and for me it’s like a flip of a coin whenever I wake up and start the day. I may have the best morning ever and feel good and that’ll generally carry over till I head to bed. Other times it turns into a complete hell-fest that I struggle to do even basic tasks daily. I also feel that most of it is the fact that a certain game that I cannot talk about due to an NDA has left a rather large hole in my heart when it comes to gaming. (Let’s just say that I had plenty of honour)

For me, (and I’d assume many others) Depression feels like it’s a rollercoaster. and there’s often very little reason for it. I know that I rarely have a reason these days to feel like the way that I do and I can’t blame the fact that my mother passed away over a year ago now, on it. Or rather, I feel like I can’t blame this on that, yet people tell me it’s still perfectly fine, and at the same time I don’t feel like it’s fine. It’s kinda hit and miss at the moment. Let’s move away from a depressing topic shall we?


Feeling the Force



I made good on a promise I was wanting to do for awhile now. Knights of the Fallen Empire looked amazing and the KOTOR game many people seemed to want. Or at the very least a decent replacement while we hope that one of the secret games that one of many of the studio EA owns is indeed a KOTOR 3.

Many people would have guessed that I would have gone Jedi Knight and eventually resepc into a Jedi Guardian. I fully intend to keep trying to be a tank type whenever I do dungeon runs and what-not. (but for now using a DPS spec to level) I feel that Final Fantasy XIV has ruined me, or that some of the design choices that SWTOR has taken are weird. For example from level 15 onwards I can queue to do ANY of the flashpoints within the game. Yep, that includes the newer ones. As such I have no idea which I should be queuing for in order to have a “vanilla” experience. Don’t get me wrong I love the idea that every dungeon is now under a group finder like system…

But I’ve only just become a Jedi Guardian…I have no interest in taking on Darth Malgus until I get to that point in our story. I love the idea in paper, but it ruins the dungeon experience for me. I heard so much about the Flashpoints that I wanted to do them with a group on a level appropriate for the flashpoint, and to experience some of the story. You can now do them Solo, but I feel that it loses some of it’s charm.

Back when I played this on release, the Flashpoints felt like a interactive session of Dungeons and Dragons in that it was possible that the story could go in a totally different direction if someone won the random number generator to speak up. Want to save those innocent’s?  Nope, you lost the roll and now they’re dead (at least you still got the alignment points for your choice) It made the conversations feel more dynamic with traditional Bioware storytelling.

I’m  making solid progress on levelling though. Even if my MMO/RPG instincts are kicking in to do all the quests when I don’t have to. I’m looking forward to making it to the KOTFE content since I’ve heard great things about the story. I may even decide to do some PVP in the near future and respec into my tanking tree to start learning how to tank in a new game.

Mains – Do I REALLY need one?

An interesting thought came into mind when I read Belghast’s latest post regarding mains. And to an extent I do agree with him. When I was really focused (and still am to a point) on doing the end-game stuff in XIV, I was so fixated on picking a main that I debated endlessly on what I wanted to do. To a point, I still do and mostly because I know I really enjoyed the type of role in Overwatch. That one match with Zarya was just…so much fun.

But lately I’ve been thinking, that to a point, the debate was useless. I have most of the tanks up to 60 in XIV with Warrior lagging at 55, a 60 Dragoon, Bard and Ninja and working on others. Hell, I’m considering looking more into the mages as my next DPS point of call.

The point is I’m so less focused on having a main and just looking to have a bit of fun and explore…But let’s be clear. Flynn Silvers is not a mage. He is a knight through and through!

Sir Flynn compressed!

Artwork was done by a good friend of mine of which you can find his work >Here<

To jump, or not to jump. That is the question



Ranger Bombing. The new photo-bombing in Final Fantasy XIV.


Okay random picture aside it’s something I don’t really talk about outside of a few people that don’t game, but I can talk to about anything. But lately it’s something that’s been on my mind for awhile and I just feel like I need to type it out and attempt a discussion…and do my Blaugust schedule, because Work is killer and I’ve been dying lately and I need a topic. Hah.

For someone who resides in the UK, but frequents the NA servers of many games, I’m met with my fair share of struggles. Time zones would be the biggest one. Fun GREY encounters are every Tuesday at like 6PM …EST? while it’s going to be 1 in the morning for myself, going on for a couple of hours and suddenly my sleep schedule is shot because I drank two bucket loads of tea and I’m up all night XD.

The other is lag, but I’m not really fussed about that unless the game is really twitch-reflex. Like Call of Duty or a shooter that requires fast thinking and faster reflexes.

I’ve said it multiple times and shall continue to sing it to the high heavens, GREY is my second family. If it weren’t for them who knows what would have happened? They’ve supported my in…their own strange ways but most notably was during the time I was still mourning (and still am to this day) my mothers passing. The amount of support and kindness they had shown during that period was so appreciated.  and I don’t think i ever thanked any of them.

So going slightly off topic here. TO every single one of you who is in GREY in XIV. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for putting up with my nonsensical nonsense, the times that I’ve been too depressed to do anything and the times that I’ve surely, gotten on your nerves.
Thank you for helping me be the person I am today, the advice giver when I needed a helping hand, and the ear to talk to when I just needed to vent. I’m not going to name names. Because everyone helped, and you all deserve equal praise and my heartfelt love.


Which pains me to even think about jumping ships to an EU server. I’ve had a few people nod me into a few EU centric guilds, or multi-game guilds lately and it’s stupid that I’m looking into them at the moment. It’s like a slap in the teeth to their kindness and what they’ve done for me.  They ARE like a family to me, a family, however, that I struggle to see daily unless I’m up at silly hours, or they are up at silly hours. Health-wise, it’s probably not the greatest thing to do. It’s hard to consider jumping ship, but I’m not the type to not think about the pros of doing so either.

Doing so would enable me to join in with a bunch of people for events that are relatively decent time wise. I could spend more time doing said events and doing more of the end-game casually or hard-core (depending on where I go.)

I’m really unsure on what to do, yet at the same time I’m afraid of even asking for fear that the simple suggestion may give them reason to doubt. Which is why I’m typing this up, as an indirect way of saying “I’m thinking about this.”


As someone who resides in the UK, it’s hard to join into NA communities for the reasons I say above. I frequent plenty of streamers on Twitch, many of the USA based, which makes it hard to join in any events unless they are like a few people I know and they stream all day on their end, giving me a few hours to join in if I so chose to.Many of my friends are USA or canada or around that area too. For myself, it’s both a blessing and a curse and at times I ponder if I should have just been an American. (But then how the hell would I survive when I’m barely holding on here)

The next few days are going to be an interesting one. If I decide to move or not is something that no doubt I’ll be thinking about alot.

Listen to one of my favourite anime openings ever. Like seriously. I love this, but then, when it’s animated by the same folks behind Unlimited Budget works, it’s hard to not love it.

EDIT: wrong video, that’s the issue when watching videos and writing XD